Thursday, January 05, 2006

Where oh where have I been....?

Dear loyal Evil Office readers. I wanted to update you as to my recent MIA status. Well, I can explain it as this: I need to make more money! That's the bottom line, simple and easy to understand. Yes, my resolution was to dive head long into the world of business, that I criticize so callously. You see, I have been ignoring my duties as of late and it has affected me financially. And, to all my broke brothers in arms, I could not sympathize with you more.

So, in an effort to keep my fiscal responsibility in the black, and to treat a certain lady like she should be treated, (right L.? xx) I have to lay off the posting for awhile. Yeah, like there will be many tears.

But never fear! I will be posting, just not as regular. Look for a new post every couple of days. But please keep coming by here, and please also visit my other column at Blogcritics.

I thank you for your patronage, and I hope the new year finds you all well. As for me, I hope the new year finds me rolling naked on the floor over a big pile of money! If that happens, I will definitely post pictures...um, then again, maybe some moments are better left to the imagination.

Peace out....

T.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

More Cartoons!!!

Hello everyone. Hope you all had a merry Festivus, Christmas, Hanukkah, or any other pagan ritual you secretly indulged in. As for my past days, lets just say they were a mixed bag. Some fun, and some not so fun moments. All I can say is that a few "merry" beverages certainly made all the days bearable.

Anyway, I felt some office humour was well needed for those of us who are not quite ready to slip back into the worn out ass prints on our cubicle chairs. And, here they are:


And yet one more for you to all relate too:



Hoped you like those, now get back to work! Hopefully Evil Office Politics work!

Later

T.

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Friday, December 23, 2005

My Christmas Post...This one's not so Evil.

Loyal Office Politics Readers. First off, I would like to wish all of you Happy Holidays, and all the best in the coming new year.

If there is one thing I would like to give all of you, is the great gift I received some time ago, that has given back to me many, many times over. I was lucky enough to know somebody who had sponsored a child. They had told me the benefits they received from such an action. I was skeptical at first, believing that most of these companies were just in for a profit with little money was actually making it down to the children. But, after some research, and friendly assurances, I decided to make the commitment, and support a needy child.

I was unprepared for the amount of love I have received from my sponsored child, a young eight year old from West Niger, Africa. Zachary sent me a letter not a month after him and I were brought together. This letter, translated on the back, was full of positive, upbeat comments and many thanks for my decision.

Since that day, two years ago, Zachary and I have exchanged many letters and small gifts. Each time I get one of his letters, I am filled with much emotion, and I stop whatever I am doing just to focus on what he has printed. His letters have improved so much, and his enthusiasm is never ending. When I think of him,I can think of no better decision I have made in my life. I honestly feel a bond with him that is akin to blood. He, in some way, is my own.

I am not here to preach to you. I am also not here to tell you which organization I am with, that is something you have to find for yourself. All I am here to do is to tell you that life is about giving, it's about taking what little you may have , and sharing it with people who have less. That is the real gift in life.

So I ask, while you are reading this, to stop for a moment and consider the possibility of making a commitment to someone you have never met. But think seriously before you react, this is a life long decision. You cannot be half way about it. They need you to be a solid foundation for them in a world that is full of hardships.

I may not be with Zachary for many more years, his family is doing better, and are on their way to becoming self sustainable. But, in the years I am in his life, I will consider him my own child. And like many parents who talk about their children, I couldn't be a more proud father.

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays to all.

T.

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

14 Truly Evil Companies

I wrote this for Blogcritics, but since I also posted that article here, I thought this follow-up article was also needed.

My last post, "The Apprentice-Randal is Evil", brought about some heated debate. I was glad for the chance to hear your comments, and thoughts, about your concept of evil. For that, I thank you. But, as the comments went on, there was one notion that struck a cord with me: the concept of ethics in the business environment.

Most of us would like to believe that companies are more aware of ethical issues, and are conducting their businesses within such framework. I, also, would like to think that there is some accountability taking place, but, something about the idea of capitalism just won't let me believe that everyone is onboard. Especially big business.

Ethics, to me, seem to be opposed to the idea of capitalism. The concept of a free market seems restricted when wrapped in the tight fabric of ethics. I could be wrong, I'm sure Rodney (a commentor from the last post) would think I am. I just didn't know.

So, as any good researcher would do, I spent some time on the information highway. Now, I am well aware that a large percentage of information on this medium cannot be constituted as "truth", but I am also aware that my local, and national, news source may not be impartial either. News is also a business. And, they, too, must also succeed by any means they feel necessary. So, in saying that, I had to take all information as suspicious.

Now I searched for awhile, and eventually landed on an article titled "Most Wanted Corporate Human Rights Violators of 2005." This title tickled me in my evil spots, so I investigated further.

This article, listed here, went on to outline its findings on the 14 most abusive companies, and the crimes they have been accused of committing. The list is interesting to say the least. Whether or not I believe such accusations is of no relevance. I leave such decisions to you.

What is interesting is that I, personally, have supported a few of these companies on a regular basis. I can even go so far as to say that I have more than paid the salary of at least one executive, at the Coca Cola company, with the amount of their sweet concoctions I have ingested. Sad, I know, but true. (Secretly, I'm still searching for the article that states Coke still puts real Coke into their soft drinks. That I would believe.)

This article, however truthful, did give life to the wooden cogs in my head. I began to ask myself a few questions. Would I support a company who knowingly abused human rights? Would I buy products from a company who used child labor? Would I even take the time to find out what a company was doing outside the borders of this country, if I had a notion it wasn't right?

I would like to think the answers to these questions would be no, no, and yes, but I just don't know. Let's say that I did find out that Coke was indeed guilty of the crimes mentioned in this article. Would it stop me from consuming my daily 300 milliliters of the dark magical syrup? Umm, I guess I could go cold turkey. I mean we are talking human rights here. And because of that, my mild addiction can be cast aside. I am not totally without heart.

What if Wal-Mart was also guilty of the aforementioned human rights violations? Would I stop shopping for bargains there? Yes, I think I could avoid their super box stores, and find a local retailer who doesn't have eight year old kids sewing socks in the back room till all hours of the night. Yes, I could do that.

What if the company, who employed me right now, was conducting illegal activities in another country? Could I separate myself from my handsome salary, and find work with a less evil entity? Could I risk it? That, I don't know. I'm not sure if I could endanger myself, and my livelihood for the sake of morality. Again, sad, but true. I don't think I'm alone, either.

Where is your line? I mean, really, have you ever taken the time to find out exactly how your employer operates? Do you know where all your supplies are manufactured? In what countries? Do you even know where your company profits are going? Are they being rifled into the account of some company, or person, you know to be a criminal, a racist, or a radical? You don't know for sure, do you? Neither do I.

However truthful this article is, we are still left with the ethical dilemma it poses. How far would we go to not support companies who don't have any ethical frame work? And, how far we would let our lives be affected by our ethical beliefs?

I don't have all the answers for you, or for myself. Such things come with investigation, and reflection. The one thing I am sure of is that if I were to see these violations first hand, instead of hearing whispers escaping from third world countries, I would have no choice but to take a stand. That would also mean that I would have to take down the makers of the one thing that gets me through the day. And that is a small price to pay for ethics.

I await your thoughts...

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Friday, December 16, 2005

The Apprentice: Randal IS Evil!

Loyal readers, I watched, with extreme delight, as Randal was awarded a "position" with the Trump organization (not to go off topic, but I think his choice to work on the Atlantic City casino revamp was poor. Good luck pulling that billion dollar bomber out of its nose dive.).

Believe it, or not, I had secretly rooted for Randal all along. No, I'm not a bandwagon jumper. I honestly felt Randal was one of the most talented, and educated, participants ever to grace this reality template. He proved himself week after week, never losing a task he had control of. As for everyone else who participated, I say "blah". Yes, I said blah.

I know, right now you're belly aching "what about Rebecca, and her broken ankle?" For that, I will give her some credit, but, if you want to talk about someone who toughed out a broken ankle, then I give you Bobby Baun. For those of you who don't know, Bob played the overtime period, in game 6 of the 1964 Stanley Cup finals, for the Toronto Maple Leafs, and scored the game winning goal. Then, two days later, played game 7 in its entirety, eventually going on to win the cup, and yes, he did all this with a broken ankle! To me, that's toughing it out. Hobbling around on some crutches, not so much. But, I digress.

The reality is Randal deserved to win. Those of you, who disagree, give your head a shake (preferably close to something sharp). Randal will be an asset to Trump, no doubt. How can I be so sure that Randal was the best choice? Wasn't he too nice to make it in the cannibalistic environment that is New York City? Hah! Randal proved he's got what it takes not even two minutes into his victory.

Trump, in a plotted move, attempted to pull the "everybody feels good" stunt when he inquired to Randal about Rebecca, prodding him to admit that she, too, was deserving of a position with the Trump organization. Randal, in all his post victory glory, was having nothing to do with this sad display. He shut her, and this lame exploit, down tout sweet. And with a chorus of boos ringing in his ears, Randal made it known that there was room for only one apprentice, him. As he put it, "this was The Apprentice, not The Apprenti." And with that, Randal stood, and extended his arms wide in victory. No one was going to dim his spotlight, not the production crew, not even Trump.

Bravo, Randal! Bravo! You, my friend, have shown America the way, the Evil Office way. For this I can only smile, and nod in approval.

I write many articles about this very type of behavior, maybe you've read one? Some of you agree with my Evil rants, rightly so. Some of you make it known, that such behavior, was to be avoided in the workplace, okay, I can see your point. But, some of you even went so far to call these deeds childish, unnecessary, and detrimental to the overall health of an office. To you, I can now laugh louder than before.

Randal proved my point. If you want to play with the big dogs, leave your compassion at the door. There is no room in a business career for it. You want to be compassionate? Find another career. Or, better yet, save the Mother Theresa act for after hours.

Personally, I'm very charitable, but do I bring that into my office? No, my acts of humanity are for my eyes only, not a tool for self promotion. My feet are firmly planted on the ground, not on a soapbox. But, when the office door closes, it's all business.

You can disagree all you want. I know you will. In the end, though, I know that the selfish path is the safest path. Do you honestly think Trump became a millionaire by being compassionate? How about Gates? Anyone who's read his life story knows that theft, manipulation, and greed were his tools to become one of the richest men on the planet. His recent charity, I believe, is a direct result of his marriage. His wife, bless her soul, was able to see through the fog of war, to a higher purpose. But that's easy to do when you're sitting on a pile of gold.

For the rest of us, until the day we can light cigars with hundred dollar bills, you'd better learn that emotional detachment is essential for personal success. The ladder you climb is only one person wide. If compassion drives you to want to stop, and let someone pass, then be prepared to have the soles of their shoes planted firmly in the middle of your face as they leap over you. And, in the end, the pain of my truth hurts a lot less than a wing tip kicking you in the face.

Ramble on.

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Office Cartoons Way Overdue...

It is Wednesday, or, for some of us, Humpday. Now, for those of you who are not feeling the "hump" part of the day, or for those of you who are feeling a little sore in the "hump" area, because of your manager, these toons are for you. Enjoy.


And for another little funny:




Have an Evil Day!

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Monday, December 12, 2005

I Got Google'd and My Ass Hurts

I have decided to add my post to Blog Critics to my personal site as well, in an effort to maximize its reach. Okay, so I'm re-posting, but some of you don't visit my other column, so I'm really doing this for you...aren't I special? No, I know I'm not. :-( :::::: (those dots are tears..). Here it is, comment away.

I am departing from my normal Evil Office Politics rant today in order to bring you the details of the sad saga that is my relationship with the world leader in internet browsers. Yes, you guessed by the title, I'm talking about the juggernaut known as Google.

For those of you who have had dealings with this company, my story will be nothing new. For those of you lucky enough to have not had to deal with them, of which I'm sure there are few, this story will be of interest.

This story is, by no means, outlandish, incendiary, or all that important, but, in my eyes, is a sign of the times with this once great billion dollar company. So, call it a cautionary tale, if you will. Or, better yet, call it the insignificant tale of a small boy versus a large company (no, not David and Goliath, because in that tale, David actually won). You can even go so far as to call it crap, and I'm sure some of you will, I don't care. Just remember, Microsoft also had loyal fans at one time. What does that mean? All I am saying is get your head out of your ass, and take a good look at the next Microsoft.

Before I go on, I just want to say that these events are true. From my understanding, I cannot be charged with libel unless I make false, malicious statements. So I would like to take this time to state that the following comments constitute my opinion, and are made in truth as best I remember. Let's hope I'm right about this.

Alright then, what is this situation that I speak of? Well, it started out when I decided to use the Adwords program to help promote my blog. It seemed to be the best service out there at the time. I did my research, read all the supplied material from the Google website, then went online and researched some more. I wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting into. And, after much deliberation, I signed up for the program. Here's where it gets funny.

Because I live outside of the US (I'm in Canada), I had the payment options of credit card (which I won't use online), or bank transfer. I chose bank transfer. So, off went the hundred dollars they requested in order to activate the account. Fast forward two days.

The fifty words I had chosen, and for the most part paid thirteen cents each for, were now all inactive. The majority of my Adwords were now sixty five cents and some of the key words, directly related to my site, had skyrocketed to over a dollar twenty five a click! I was shocked. There was no way I could afford this. Out of confusion, I contacted Google by phone. And, after much back and forth, I was left as confused as before I had called. The CSR was of no help in deciphering the science that is Adwords. I decided, at this point, to suspend the account. I was not paying what they asked. To be more precise, I couldn't pay what they asked even if I wanted to.

After much debate, with friends and those inclined to the black arts of internet knowledge, I decided it was time for me to get my money back and try another avenue. Simple right? Just go to the online form and request my money back, which after deductions, was now ninety dollars. Simple? No f'n way.

First, my password, the only password I ever had, was not accepted. I was given an error code every time I entered it. Then I tried to email Google to explain my problem. Three days later, I received an email back saying that everything was fine and I could again request my refund. Ah, no. The same error message appeared. I again emailed, and two days later, the same agent said that there was a "technical" problem and she would have to get back to me.

A week later, I receive a cryptic email stating that "technical support" is working on my issue, and an answer should be forthcoming.

Three more days pass and nothing.

I again email, and this time I'm a little more emphatic about my request. Another two days pass before a response. This time I talked with another agent. She told me that "because of the nature of my payment (i.e. bank transfer), there would be a problem". The reason for this trouble lay in the recent "change over" in equipment, but I was assured the problem was temporary and my money would be returned shortly. Okay, sure, I bought into this, even though the idea of a giant internet company not being able to conduct an online bank transfer was a little funny to me, personally.

Another week passed with nothing, not even an update email. So, as you may have guessed, I emailed back to see what the hell was up with my ninety bucks. Two more days pass before a response. This time, I am told that she, the CSR, would take all my information and have the transfer processed internally. Okay, I filled out her request form and submitted it. Then, as you may have guessed, nothing happened. No email, no information, and most importantly, no refund.

Entering week five, I was very pissed. I wanted my ninety dollars, and I wanted it now. I thought, at this time, how I was starting to sound like the newspaper kid in that movie "Better off Dead", you know, the "I want my two dollars" kid? He rocked. I wish I knew that kid because I guarantee he would've had my money back to me by now. Anyway, I had the notion that it was time to start with the phone calls. So I did. I called Google, long distance, asked for Adwords, and spoke with another CSR.

To no surprise, she told me that the problem was technical, and that everyone was working on fixing this issue. She also told me how thankful they were that I was being so understanding, and patient. This pissed me off even more. I didn't need her pity, I needed my damn money. "Shit," I said. "Why is it so damn difficult to give me my money?" She didn't know, but assured me that my money would be given back as soon as the problem was fixed. What problem? Well, the "technical" problem, of course. And what was that? She couldn't tell me. Steam billowed from my ears, I began to yell. "You're an internet giant, and you're telling me you can't transfer money from one account to another?" She said nothing. I hung up.

Two more calls were placed, one two days later, the other was placed a day after the last. I spoke to several people, all CSR's, even though I asked to speak with someone who had a higher position in the company. Everyone one understood my problem, and to their benefit, were very nice to me, but all of them said nothing could be done until the difficulties were sorted out. It was at this point I turned into something that resembled a smaller, redder, angrier version of the Hulk. I almost blew a nut. The transformation seemed to work, though. I was transferred to someone in accounting. Now we are getting somewhere, I thought. I thought wrong. This new person told me that he would "personally" put through my transfer, and I would receive it on the sixth. He even promised me, after I made him that is.

The sixth came and went. Another six days pass.

So where is all of this going? I don't know.

I am now entering the sixth week of this affair still with no resolution. I have gone through all the stages of emotions, from the heights of anger to lows of acceptance. If I lived in the same state, I would have gladly brought them to small claims court, and demanded money for the suffering they put me through. But, I cannot do this from my icy retreat in Canada.

My last phone call was just before sitting to jot all of this down. This time I spoke to someone I believe was named "Renny". She understood my problem, and stated that I would be contacted by a manager within two hours, and this person would be able to get me my money back. I don't believe her, call it a gut feeling.

It is now 2:15 p.m. I called at 12:30 p.m. The clock is ticking, and my blood is slowly rising from a simmer. I am ready to go and stick my head in the snow bank outside my door.

This is not over...yet. Actually, I'm looking into making t-shirts that state the title of this post ( I got Googled and my ass hurts). I bet that would draw the attention I need. Screw it, I'm making one for myself anyway.

Tick, tick, tick.

Please feel free to comment here, or on Blogcritics.com. Thanks!


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